Welcome to Project Car Hell, whither you choose your eternity by selecting the stand out that’s the coolest… and the most hellish! Yesterday, we were not quite shocked to take heed the backyard-turbo’d VW GTI obliterate the rod-knockitty Toyota FX16 by a 76:24 rim in the Choose Your Eternity poll. Today we’re going to consider the Fauxrrari, and- just to make it more interesting- we’re not considering Fiero-based cars. That’s proper, not one Fierraris!

You’ve got your Fauxrraris based forward Fieros, or Corvettes, or 280Zs, or even Mitsubishi Eclipses. But say you want the reliability and VTEC power of a Honda product in your Fauxrrari? Sure, sure, it’s front-wheel drive, and maybe that makes a Ferronda even more of an abomination in the eyes of Ferrari purists, but horrifying the purists to the point where they have to deviate dumping extra anisetta shots in their espresso just to maintain the will to live… well, that’s why we’re here, isn’t it? Of course it is, and that’s just unit of great number excellent reasons instead of you to purchase this 1994 Acura Integra with ‘Ferrari F430 conversion’ (go here if the ad disappears), what one. sports a totally reasonable asking price of a mere $2,500. The seller says “everything on car is entire,” but then his or her ironclad sense of honesty compels the following semi-disturbing qualification: “its stalling MILDLY on 2345 gear and when on 60mph wont let me go higher its not tranny cuz wen in neutral i press gas and it struggles so it might be senors or m.a.p sensor that online is 70$.” You wait upon? The stalling is mild; get a new MAP sensor and it’s good to go! Of process, you’ll need to jack up the horsepower to Ferrari standards, with equal reason that you’ll be able to torque direct your way into the nearest ditch exonerate that fine, fine true Bondo bodywork, that means adding turbocharging and intercooling until the combustion chambers are hotter than the surface of the sun.

You could definitely have some fun in an Integrrari, since it would positively be considerably quick and all, but the Fierrari guys will point to your front-wheel burnouts and laugh and you can’t have that! If you’re going to spend the staggering sum of several thousand bucks on a Fauxrrari, it’s got to be rear-wheel-drive, right? What you’re looking for, my budget-minded supercar-seeking friend, is a genuine Mustrrari, built in succession Ford’s protean Fox platform. When you’ve got a Fox, every junkyard in North America will seem like a comprehensively stocked superstore to you, and you want of small account aftermarket performance parts? Whooo-EEEE! You be able to turn a Fox into a 200 MPH deathtrap performance machine for nickels and dimes, my friend, nickels… and… dimes! “But did anyone ever make a Fox Ford Ferrari kit?” you might be asking, and it turns out the answer to that question is definitely a big 10-4, with this yellow Mustrrari (go here if the ad disappears) as the proof. We don’t know the year of the chassis (in fact, it might not in like manner be a Fox, though that’s the way to bet), and we don’t know the engine size, transmission type, nor anything other of any value to potential buyers, since the seller doesn’t wish to make known that sensitive information in the Craigslist ad. All we know is that “someone true needs to go over the body again, fix the engine, and ‘freshen’ everything up.” How rigorously could it be?